I was watching the TV show “Men in Trees” once and the following line caught my attention:
…a braver version of me.
I used this quote on my latest quote calendar and as I looked up from my computer this morning I saw it on the November page. It seems fortuitous because today is one of those days where I’m not feeling quite as capable and empowered as I like to feel.
I’m busy with deadlines, I have some new responsibilities in my church that are taking me away from those deadlines more often, the holidays are approaching which pulls us all in different directions…and I am hormonal. All of these things are part of life, but sometimes it’s just a little more difficult to manage them in my mind without feeling anything but tired.
I need a braver version of me to rise to the surface today.
I have decided to keep checking things off my list because I’ll just feel worse if I don’t do anything and get behind. I have also decided to listen to positive music – that will help me feel encouraged. I will go get a pedicure so that I feel better for our Hall family picture this weekend. I’ll talk to Jason about how I feel so I can get lots of hugs and hand-holds today. My feelings will pass. I work hard to choose joy and positiveness in my life and it pays off. I’m a happy person.
Life is just a little weighty today.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed or discouraged or when life feels more weighty than usual? How do you get “a braver version of you” to rise up when you need it?
Oh, I miss that show!
I am feeling much like you…hormonal for different reasons and up against lots of deadlines and things to be done. I’m with you that positive music does much to uplift and sustain me. I also will just keep plugging away and get it all done bit by bit and try not to feel overwhelmed that the list is longer than I can do today.
So excited that I am going to sign up for A Life Well Crafted in the next couple of days. Can’t wait to spend the year with you and Jason!
You are braver than you know
When I find myself feeling a little squashed by life, gratitude always makes the day a little lighter. And let me tell you, I have put it to the test lately with my husband deployed, but I am always able to find many things in my life for which I am grateful.
Thank you for sharing the real you. Not that you don’t usually, but often we hide the not so perfect side of us. I really needed what you said today. I need a braver me. A stronger me. I have that inside me, thank you for reminding me.
It can be tough. When I was pregnant with my twins I often needed to draw from a strength within that I didn’t know that I had. We had lost twin daughters just six months before I got pregnant with the twin boys and it was a very emotionally trying pregnancy for me as well as being a very high risk pregnancy. I found myself looking to others and drawing strength from their stories to keep me going. But for the most part I thought alot about my mother who had tough pregnancies with all three of her children and multiple losses over the years and thought, if my mom can go on and do it so can I. It is true, you are stronger than you know you are braver than you believe and all it takes to draw that out is the challenges that life throws at us over our life times.
I’m with Melissa. When I’m down or “out of sorts” (as my dear aunt used to say) I get out my gratitude journal and write. If I’m in the car I just think about all of the wonderful things in my life and thank God. Even if I’m in the pits I can find something to be thankful for – the sun shining, the rain, the birds outside my window, my cats racing through the house. I also know that it’s only temporary and that in itself is encouraging. Knowing that if I just wait a couple more hours or a day or so, it will be ok. Thanks for sharing your feelings. It always helps to know we aren’t alone in these “weighty” times.
When I’m feeling that overwhelmed I allow myself a short period of time to wallow in it – maybe a half hour or even an hour if I’m particularly whipped. For that time I can veg in front of the t.v., feel sorry for myself, even whine a bit (not that anyone around here would listen). Then I move on. Like you said, keep going, keep checking stuff off the to do list. Listen to some good music, have some chocolate. Reward yourself a little for each little thing you get done. By the time I’ve done a few items on that list, I’m usually feeling a whole lot better! In fact, I tend to get the most cleaning done around the house when I’m good and mad at DH for something. Don’t know why, but it allows me to blow off steam without going ballistic. Works kind of similar when I’m down, I just don’t usually have the same energy when I’m down than when I’m angry.
I am with Cheri above. I allow myself a brief period of wallowing and then try to get on with it. I had a real challenge yesterday that almost brought me to my knees, but after a day of indulgent wallowing I think I can get over it and deal. My wallet was stolen yesterday while shopping. The person that the store personnel think may have done it apparently was a pro, because when they traced the license plate to his car it turned out to be stolen from a rental car. The license and credit cards were reported stolen and the cash (a large amount since I had my daughter’s Christmas money for her family — almost $900 — that I was going to take to the bank) is simply gone. I can’t fix it or bring it back. The chances of catching the guy and linking him to the theft are small. So today I wallowed. I went off my diet and had donuts for breakfast, and chicken wings and bruschetta for lunch. I went knitting after work and bought some gorgeous malabrigo merino/silk yarn just for me. I just had some chocolate chip cookies. And tomorrow it is back on the diet. Bad things happen, but wallowing is over and life goes on. I will transfer $900 from savings into checking for my daughter’s Christmas presents for her family. Thank goodness for savings. Thank goodness for a husband who asks “are you OK?” and doesn’t say “How could you be so stupid?” Thank goodness me and mine are safe and warm. I am $900 poorer, but richer for the blessings I can count.
I think the thing that helps me most to get out of a slump of yuck is to serve someone else. It works everytime…..I call it my magic cure. Whenever I am feeling not so happy, fun, not myself I think of someone I could help (of course this is after a few minutes or sometimes hours of feeling sorry for myself) I jump into helping someone else! I love it.
Take a moment to yourself today and write a gratitude list. Keep this list with you or get a gratitude rock. To get this rock you could get yourself some fresh air and a short walk to relax. You could accomplish two things this way, a chance to take some time for yourself, find inner peace and to get the rock which can be a reminder that life isn’t all that heavy and how grateful you are with what you have in your life already.
When I am out of sorts I turn on Christian music (try “Everything” by Lifehouse). I also allow myself a good cry because sometimes that’s all that helps! I think us girls just need that sometimes! Also, there’s nothing like a friend to vent to and receive encouragement from.
I think we need to remind ourselves that it’s OKAY to sit back and relax and be pampered and to just CHILL OUT. In today’s world of rushing here and there, deadlines, and stress it is vital that we take care of ourselves.
Hugs to you Kolette…may you find comfort, peace, and a happy heart within yourself today — just allow yourself the time to find it.
I usually sit down with my journal and write “I’m stressed about…” or “I’m overwhelmed by…” until I can’t think of anything. It turns into a big list, but when it’s over I can shut the book, forget it and move on to happier things. Sometimes I just need to get it all out of my brain before I can move on. And never underestimate the power of chocolate
XX’s
Being pregnant with twins I knew that feeling of heavy. Taking a breath at the end of the pregnancy would take effort–hard to imagine. I think it sounds like you are doing great. I remember when I was pregnant my husband told someone when asked how we are sleeping. He said 0K it’s just like sleeping next to a volkswagen beetle. While I was pregnant I was a little sensitive to that remark, but that was pretty funny. So I would have to say I deal with heaviness with humor, always trying to find a bright and light side to situations. A nice long quiet bubble bath would always help, too.
Hi Kolette, you may not remember me, we only met once. I knew Jason at BYU, and I visited you once after you were married. My maiden name was Sarah Barker. I found your blog through Julie Wood, and I am SO EXCITED about your baby! I am an IVF survivor as well (twin boys, 2 years old), but didn’t have nearly the hurdles you have! I’m so excited for you both! Brette Stephenson told me several years ago about Jason’s second accident, and I’m amazed at the path you’ve taken. Hang in there, life is good! You will be awesome parents.
P.S. LOVE your artwork! I was a graphic design major at the Y when Jason knew me, but I ran out of money after my second year, spent 13 years in banking, and during that time became a mom. Still waiting to get back to it…
To help me get through weighty matters–I eat chocolate, which doesn’t help my weight but it helps me get through the matter
I hug my dad, quite unusual for an almost 40 year old like me but I have the luxury of having my dad living with me so I can always hug him when I’m feeling like the whole world is about to fall apart. Every time I look at him, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have him. I really can’t complain. he makes me happy.
I just wanted to say thank you for this post. I have some newly acquired weights that seem pretty heavy today and reading your post is very encouraging. Thanks for being real and sharing.
BRAVE was my chosen “word for the new year.” I have found it to be more meaningful and appropriate than I ever thought it might be. SO, I thank you for your reminder and I will go about my day reminding myself to be a tuer/braver version of myself this day…..God gives me the strength i need, sometimes I just forget!! HA!!
Have a blessed day and be BRAVE!!!
Sherry