It’s 12:00 am on the dot. I just checked my clock as I found myself awake instead of still asleep after a glorious 10 pm bedtime. I woke up thinking about Cole. Not worrying, just thinking. In my mind I was seeing his mad face, where he crinkles up his forehead (click here for a photo in my previous post). That picture in my mind then switched to his relaxed face, like the one he gets when he’s spotted one of his beloved ceiling fans. Next came his happy face with bright eyes and a smile that keeps making more and more appearances for us these days. Finally, I saw our favorite face of all – when he sticks his bottom lip out and actually says, “Wu-aaaah.” I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate that all we do is laugh and mimic him when he gives us that one.
This slideshow in my mind continued for about 10 minutes when I realized that I was not going to be able to fall back asleep quickly and decided to think about something else – my thoughts took a huge shift (yeah, right) and I started listing in my mind all the things that I never in a million years thought I would do once I became a mother.
- I never thought I would hear “phantom Cole cries” when he was gone visiting his Grandma.
- I never thought I would have to beat back the desire to bring a blanket and pillow into his room to sleep on the floor – just to be near him. (Of course, I would have been kept up all night from his grunts and squeaks and throat clearing habits that he has had since day one but that is beside the point).
- I never thought I would wish for nothing more than it to be time for his nap only to long to have him wake up so he could hang out with me.
- I never thought that I would be able to notice every new change in him that happens day by day – from the fact that he needs his fingernails cut to spotting a little baby acne dot that hadn’t been there the day before to discovering a new roll in his chubby leg.
- I never thought that I would learn to put a carseat in someone else’s car properly – and in less than one minute.
- I never thought that we might actually get a child with hair that had a little body to it – that is truly a miracle in my mind that I am crossing my fingers comes to pass like we think it will.
- I never thought that there was such a thing as “formula-breath.”
- I never thought that Jason would be able to figure out so many ways to help take care of this little guy, including taking him on a walk today (without me) around the neighborhood.
- I never thought that I would actually have that elusive “mother’s intuition” kick in.
- I never thought that wet wipes would be good for so much more than taking care of a little bum.
- I never thought that I would spend so much time figuring out how big the hole in the bottle nipples should be to achieve maximum flowage with minimal sputtering and choking.
- I never thought that it would take so long for me, the self-proclaimed organized one, to figure out how to juggle motherhood and work. That has been much tougher for me than I anticipated.
- I never thought that getting a good burp was an art form.
- I never thought I would take a baby into a movie theater (totally my pet peeve) but I admit that I did it last week. It was the middle of the week and the middle of the day so we were the only ones there but still, I never thought I would be “that parent.”
- I never thought that even though getting a mommy break is nice and necessary, that I would miss him when we were apart even for a few short hours.
- I never thought that I would be able to fall asleep at a moment’s notice during the day – not a skill I had previously.
- And I never thought that even though the changes are hard for me to get used to, that I would already be thinking about when we are going to try invitro again.
When it comes to motherhood, I am guessing that many of you have had “I never thought…” moments in your journey. I am also guessing that they probably never stop happening – they just change as your child grows and changes, too.
How would you finish the sentence “I never thought…?” Am I the only one out there who literally had no clue and so gets these kind of “Ah-ha” moments on a daily basis where I say to myself, “Oh, that’s interesting (or funny or frustrating or gross) and something I had never thought about before!”
Now maybe I can head back to bed and get some sleep before Coleman wakes up at 4 am for a little feeding. Maybe there will come a day when I will be able to add to my list, “I never thought that he would sleep 12 hours straight.” I have heard that it happens but right now it seems like it’s only a myth. Is it true or just a fantasy that you moms spread around to give each other hope?
Have a great Easter weekend. Me, Jason and our little chunker (who landed in the 95 percentile on the weight and length chart yesterday) will be having a great time anticipating the day that he will actually know who the Easter Bunny is.
Kolette Hall 
This post totally hit home for me! Very sweet! YES they really will sleep for 12 hours and it honestly happens faster than you think. 🙂
I never thought…
-I needed 2 children (was totally content with one)
-I needed a girl! (I DID)
-a year could whiz by so quickly (my youngest just turned 1)
-I would even THINK about having a 3rd child (sshhh don’t tell anyone!)
-being a mom would be the only job I would want to do
It is so cool to follow your journey as you embrace motherhood! I love your “I never thought” list!
Ok, so I never thought:
1. I would ever find myself crying at sappy commercials – but I do – and it started right after having my first child!
2. I would enjoy all the little daily things that keep my house running and make my children’s world happen!
3. I wanted a boy – but he is my heart and my soul!
4. I could raise a girl to have self esteem that I never really had as a young girl – but she has it in spades!
Good luck on this wonderful journey that so many of us are blessed to take, and that you are now a part of! I noticed you mentioned “you moms” – well that now includes you!
I never thought:
1. I would miss the “baby” days or be so jealous of other mother’s who are totally enjoying it.
2. I would miss the toddler days. I spent a lot of time wishing they could be more independent, that I didn’t need to lug a suitcase full of stuff just to go shop at the Mall for an hour, that I didn’t need to visit EVERY public restroom in the Mall. But now I miss the days when they still needed me and they were so cute and they loved to cuddle and they had those adorable little speech idiosyncracies.
3. My kids would reach an age where they thought I was a hopeless idiot (I have twin daughters who are 15 – need I say more?)
4. I would be old enough to have a daughter in college – gasp – when did that happen! But she has crossed over from “teen” to responsible adult in such a beautiful wonderful way and I am continually amazed at her intelligence, beauty, strong work ethic, friendliness, loyalty. What an awesome kid! Did I really have something to do with this?
5. I could be so proud of/love someone so completely and utterly beyond comprehension.
I don’t think all babies do sleep 12 hours straight without waking. Mine never has (she’s two). It depends on your child’s personality and your parenting philosophy. For a very young child, though, I don’t think it’s safe for them to sleep that long without waking.
LOVE your list!! The pictures are wonderful too! What a sweetie you have!
I have 2 girls…the first was a great sleeper and still is at 7 1/2. The second is getting to be a better sleeper but I also nursed her until she was 2 years, 7 months the day my Dad had open heart surgery…we went cold turkey.
I have always been told NOT to wake a sleeping baby. When I did not listen to that advice I ended up with an overtired, overstimulated, cranky baby. Follow your instincts on that!
hi Kolette,
I love the pictures you posted of Cole. The one of him up on your shoulder is just so darn cute!! He is so precious.
I enjoyed your list of “never thought” items.
I never thought I could love someone so much.
I have 3 children. 2 girls and a son. All grown now. When they all were babies, I would sometimes hold them while they slept. I loved to cuddle them and just watch them sleep. Of course, all the “older” generation told me that I was going to “spoil” them if I didn’t put them in their cribs. My doctor assured me this was not the case. If I was spoiling them it was with love and I can’t think of a better gift. I now have a grandson who is two. When he was a baby, I also had snuggle time. Now of course I am lucky to get in cuddles cause he is sooo busy playing and running. Now cuddle time comes at storytime. 🙂
I never thought I could miss someone so much.
I went thru empty nest syndrome. It was very hard on me when my “baby” left home. Both my girls went to Alaska for a summer to work. My one daughter had been out of the house for awhile already but this was the first time my baby had left home. Granted it was only for a summer but that summer changed everything. She became independent (a good thing) and didn’t “need” mom anymore. That was so hard.
As far as a baby sleeping 12 hrs .. I remember the first time my kids slept longer than I thought they should have. It was during the time when SIDS was so prominently in the news. I was so afraid to go in their room to check on them. I “made” my husband go in and check on them. And this happened with each one of them. 🙂 Of course they were just fine. But it certainly gave my heart a start.
Coleman is such a precious gift from God and you all make such a special family unit. My heart is full of happiness for you all. Thank you so much for sharing your family and your thoughts and allowing me to be part of it through this blog.
Hugs to you all.
Delyne
I never thought that I was capable of creating such perfection. When my children were small I used to stand and stare at them for ages, wondering at the miracle realisation that I MADE THAT, I made these amazing little creatures who were so very perfect. It was an amazing realisation, and every now and again, after 13 and 10 years, I still catch myself looking at them (mostly when they are asleep!) and that same sensation washes over me…I MADE THAT, and that feels so very good.
Lesley
Happy Easter to you all!!
I never thought that 2 would be so, so great :).
I loved reading your list…
Thank you for sharing your list. I have so many thoughts that go through my head each day but to write them down or type them out is daunting. You’ve inspired me to do it!
12 hours a night? Ha! Maybe when they are teenagers 🙂 I have 5–the oldest is 9, so it’s been about 10 years since I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
I never thought I would be such a softie. Knowing that our Baby #5 is the last one for us, I give in to him SO much easier and spoil him WAY more than the other 4.
Welcome to the club.
After all the “lovey dovey” stuff for my daughter and son, I am left with the fact that:
-I never thought I would be so consumed with someone else’s pooping!
True, so true, Jana.
Hi Kolette,
I never thought time would go by so quickly.
I never thought my 3 sons would be all grown up so fast.
I never thought my mother’s advice on childrearing was anything but invaluable.
I never thought I could possibly appreciate the huge blessing my children are, and so I took tons of photos, kept journals for each, and really took the time to sit back and ENJOY them. I’m so glad I did. I was a SAHM for 20+ years before returning to work full time. What a blessing for us!
Coleman is just the most adorable baby Kolette. He is just so handsome and obviously so well loved. I am really, really glad for you & Jason — what a wonderful little family you have!
I just found your blog and was reading through some of your posts when I happened upon this one. My twin boys are 7 1/2 months old and I am surprised by them every day.
I never thought that a smile could literally take my breath away.
I never thought I would have to hand my one-month-old baby over to a nurse for surgery. My heart broke into a million pieces and I wondered how mother’s of chronically ill children do it.
I never thought I would be able to let my boys figure things out and work it out on their own. I am an incredible control freak and I was worried that I would try to “help” them with everything. But it is so fulfilling to let them figure it out and see their joy and excitement when they realize they can do something new…and THAT is awesome!
I never thought I would be able to distinguish each of their noises and cries. My friends always ask if I know which baby it is just by hearing him. I always do.
I never thought I would think that if I had only had one baby instead of twins that I would be missing out on so much. Now I wonder what it would feel like if we only had one baby the next time. And I think I would feel like something was always missing if that baby doesn’t have a twin.
I never thought I would feel so scared and strong and excited and full of love and worried all in the same moment.
And…I have to agree with a previous commenter…I never thought I would be so consumed with poop!
Wow!
I never thought that children could grow sooooooooo fast!
I never thought that I could learn from my children how to spill the pitcher of juice after mopping the floor. LOL
I never thought I would ever have a boy after being all sisters, then God Bless me with two after my boy.
I never thought “Mother Hood” would or could be the best job ever, and so rewarding.
I never thought I would ever learn how to multi task, like I do now.
He is so precious and such a Miracle! His coloring is beautiful!
I was in Scrapbook Etc. two days ago and one I was talking about you both and how inspirational Jason is to me as you are talented.
She was almost in tears saying she always visits his blog but, doesn’t comment and how moving his is to her.
that is awesome!
I am glad I met you at CE 2008! And I promise to get your package sent out sometimes here when I am done collecting stuff for your little Cole! What a cutie!