Download Day – I Am Woman…

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We had some trouble this weekend.  Jason was in  a car accident – he was the only one in the car and is not hurt.  Don’t worry.  But his handicap-accessible van that he was driving is not so fine.  We’re not sure yet if the insurance company will declare it totaled or not, but either way we are facing a dilemma.

You see, Jason without transportation is a little trickier than the normal able-bodied person without it.  He can’t drive my car.  In fact, to get him home after the accident it took a couple of men to lift him into the passenger seat of my Trailblazer and four men to lift his motorized wheelchair into the back of it.  The same process was repeated getting him and his chair out of the car once we got home.  We can’t just rent a regular car for a while – most wheelchair accessible vans cost about $100 per day to rent and are not equipped for him to drive.  This means that if we rent a van and he wants to go anywhere then someone has to drive him while he is the passenger.

Depending on the damage, we anticipate at least a month before we have a vehicle again – whether his van is able to be repaired or we have to purchase a new converted van.  Both options are lengthy and difficult and will be tricky to navigate, not to mention the cost of it all.  A new van can range from $50-65,000.  That’s our reality.  It’s no surprise to us that it costs that much to replace his van, it’s just challenging to face it unexpectedly.  We were hoping to get another year or two out of his current van.

I admit that when I first found out about the accident I was mad at the situation.  Over the course of about 20 seconds, all of the above mentioned ramifications ran through my mind.  Then I flip-flopped between anger and disappointment about having to deal with it all, wondering what our options were, how we could manage it and trying to think of problem solving solutions when I wasn’t even sure what the problem actually was going to be.  Would we need to purchase a new van?  Would this one be repaired?  Which was a better choice?  How long will it take to get a new van if that is the solution?  What will we do in the meantime?

After laying my head on the pillow to go to bed for the night, I took a deep breath.  I felt tired.  Very tired.  But I said to Jason, “We’ll work it out.”  Jason, with his scraped cheek and soreness starting to emerge simply said, “You’re right.  We will.”

This is life.  I’m sure you can all agree that challenges happen.  Whether we can foresee them coming or they hit us by surprise, adversity is a part of all of our lives.  The real question is how are we going to face it when it happens.  I believe wholeheartedly that it’s ok to get mad.  It’s ok to be frustrated and disappointed and discouraged and sad.  All of those feelings are normal and natural and realistic.

However, the real question is how long this frustration or anger or sadness lasts before we decide to pull up our sleeves, dig in our heels and get to work.  How quickly do we decide that we are going to proactively attack our challenges by problem solving instead of problem-wallowing.  I wish I could say that I had made my decision to move forward immediately after the accident happened.  I didn’t.  It took me the rest of the day to head in a positive direction.  But I can tell you that as soon as I mustered up the humility along with some good old fashioned courage, the problem solving stage began and the pity party started to fade.

And I started to feel better.

Do I know the answers to any of the questions that had been running through my mind all day?  Not really.  But we had decided that we could work it out – whatever that meant – and having made that decision, I already felt better.

I think sometimes as women we underestimate our own resiliency.  I believe that we are more capable than sometimes we give ourselves credit for.  We CAN do hard things.  We can face difficult circumstances.  We can solve problems and be creative and think through challenges.   We are smart and if we really look at our lives – we already do hard things all the time.  Our download today is a celebration of us – strong, capable women, ready to fight, ready to solve problems, ready to get to work, and ready to make something happen for the better.

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In the words of Helen Reddy, “I am woman, hear me roar!”  We can do hard things.

Put this quote in a place you’ll see it often to remind you of who you are and what you really can do.  I’ve had it scribbled on a notecard for years in my office as a funny mantra to help me laugh my way through tough times.

Sensible women of the world unite!  Who’s with me?