Quote of the Day:
Jim (in the attempt to motivate): “Do you want me to show you how I can do it twice as fast?”
Me: “No.”
Of course you can do it twice as fast or twice as good or twice as long, Jim. That’s why people don’t pay me to be their trainer. Duh. If you couldn’t do it better with your fierce muscles then I would be concerned. So no, I don’t want to see you do it better than me. Thanks, though.
But in the spirit of the response, “No,” I am sitting here looking at a post-it note on my desk. It is a list of things that need to get done or things I am thinking about doing. One thing on the list involves a Christmas service project that would be a big commitment. This morning I am crossing it off my list. I have thought about it for almost a week, gotten the info so I can make a good decision about it and have decided that I need to say no to this particular project.
Jason and I always do some kind of Sub-for-Santa effort during the holidays but this new idea is over the top in terms of being able to manage and I’m not sure I can do it — so I’m moving on. We’ll do something else. But the key was giving myself a chance to think about it before I committed. Whether it’s five minutes, five days or five weeks, it’s often good to pause before we say yes to a new commitment. It removes the immediate pressure and helps us to think it through more clearly.
I realize that many people (especially women) feel guilty saying no to good causes or activities or events. But we don’t have to. It’s ok to say no. It’s ok to recognize what we can do and stop there. It’s ok to not be the same as our neighbor or friend or sister or mom when it comes to what we choose to do. It’s ok to volunteer in the classroom instead of being the PTA President. It’s ok to not have the perfectly cleaned house or perfectly groomed children or perfectly cooked meal. And it’s ok to say no to many of the plethora of opportunities that we are bombarded with in this day and age. Just because it is possible doesn’t mean it is good for us to take on.
So we’ll do something else this holiday season. There are many opportunities to serve and we’ll do the things that make sense for our family at this time. Besides, there’s always next year…and the next…and the next…
Enjoy!
Thanks SO much…I really needed this! ( I am feeling so over burdened because I haven’t learned how to say that word yet, and I am kind of old!)
My son’s x-country team needed someone to drive them to the meet. They were 18 seats short! Anyway, I finally decided that it was not my turn – especially since the other kids have the flu. The relief of saying no felt much better than the guilt and exhaustion of running faster than I was able would have ever felt. I can do something to help others, but I don’t have to do everything.
Thanks for the download – good encouragement.
AMEN. AMEN, AMEn. I printed off three of these!! Gonna need them! LOL
Thanks Kolette. This is the greatest download ever. I am printing a copy while I type this to bring to work as a constant reminder. I am a typical Type A personality and do way too much. I have had a health scare recently and really MUST slow down. This download has come at the best time! Thanks again!
Thank you Kolette. I am a mother of 4 ages 12 -7, wife of 16 years almost..this Sunday. My husband is a pastor, thus makes me a busy lady. Thanks for the inspiration.
My motto is “When you say YES to something, you say NO to something else.” What will I be saying NO to? This thought process has helped me prioritize in my life!
I agree with Kerry – the way I have always told it to others is “When you say NO to something it allows you to say YES to something else” – because we really can’t do every wonderful thing that comes along so we must make reasonable choices.
Another thing I always remeber is ” To a quick question give a slow answer” – sometimes people catch us off guard with requests – but it is actually ok and often necessary to take the time to think before giving an answer.
This reminds me of one of my favorite little snippets from last month’s LWC audio. It was at the end of your story about following the fire truck on the narrow road in NYC. You said just because someone is going in a good direction for them, doesn’t mean it is a good direction for you (or something sort of like that, I don’t remember your exact phrasing!) That really stuck with me, and I think it’s similar to what you’re saying today. While that particular commitment you said no to was for a good cause, it just wasn’t the right direction for you to head this year.
Thanks again for the reminder of this difficult concept to put into practice!
Holy Cow did I need that one today. Thanks Kolette!
You. Are. Absolutely. Right. A good principle to learn.
Hallelujah for your download. I really need it right now. Thanks!!!