Party, Party, Party!
Since our Every Needful Thing Kickoff Night was on Cole’s birthday, we finally had his birthday party on Sunday night. All of Jason’s and my family who live nearby came to celebrate. I love getting our families together because they are all easy to get along with and it helps us connect. My mother-in-law knows my sister and brothers’ kids and asks about them. My siblings know who I’m talking about when I share news about Jason’s family. I love the connections.
I have learned some things about in-laws and families joining together through marriage. I know many people who don’t get along with their in-laws and I never understood that. First of all, Jason and I feel very blessed to have in-laws who have welcomed us in like we were their own children. But it’s a two-way street. Everyone has to decide that they are going to accept and get along with their new family members. It doesn’t really work if it’s just a one-sided effort.
Yes, traditions and habits and opinions and behaviors will be different in each family. That’s the point. Our job, as in-laws, is to welcome the new ideas and blend the families together. Jason’s family always has something yummy called Pumpkin Dessert for Thanksgiving dinner. I have spent many Thanksgivings with his family because my parents have lived out of the country for many years. I was surprised the first year that we didn’t have an array of pies like my mom always made. I thought everyone did it the way we did it. I happened to mention what my mom usually did about the pies to my mother-in-law because she asked about our family traditions. The next year there were a variety of pies to choose from. Sophia made the effort to help me feel at home by allowing my family tradition into their family celebration.
I’ve learned over the years that families become a way to interweave people and experiences. We get to choose if those connections are positive. There is give-and-take, making concessions for differing ideas and habits, and everyone has to work together to make it happen. I hope you get to have in-laws that you love as much as I love mine. Parties are always better when we can all be together.
Now that I feel confident using collage storyboards, I’m trying my hand at using digital elements for scrapbooking. In the above pages I used parts of the Shabby Princess “Happy Go Lucky” collection. And to make it better – the collection was free!
Also, we just got word that our winning essay for Ferring Pharmaceuticals is up on their website – a perfect way to celebrate our one-year-mark with this little miracle. (click here to see our essay)
That was a beautiful essay. It was hearthfelt, articulate, and full of wisdom and strength. Congratulations to a one year old miracle!
Happy Birthday to your little one! You guys are truly blessed with such a loving family.
Unfortunately for some of us it’s never quite so easy. I had always expected my relationship with in-laws to be similar to yours. However, my in-laws 20-year marriage deteriorated shortly after my husband and I married. My MIL went through a “mid-life crisis” and pretty much shut out her entire family (mother, sister, son, etc) and went rather wild. She would often say that her decisions were hers to make and only affected her life. So not true.
Sadly, it affected all of us in different ways. She passed away several years back and at the end of her life had many regrets. We often mourn what could have been. She truly taught me though how our decisions & actions affect others around us in ways you may never realize.
Happy belated birthday Cole! Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and touching essay and some great insight on family dynamics
I wouldn’t normally write this as a comment on a blog – but seeing as you’re in a different country … like Aimee, I always hoped and thought my relationship with my in-laws would be similar to yours. But like you said, it takes effort on both sides.
Sadly things for me (and others like me) are very different. (Fortunately my husband’s experience is the opposite – more like yours). My in-laws are good people, but they have other priorities in their life. Would that my only issues were about food, habits, traditions, opinions or behaviour! Our own family life with our children certainly blends the traditions of his family and ours.
What you say is perfectly valid and wonderfully put. I suppose I’m just am very aware of what my children and I (and other members of our extended family) miss out on, and I grieve for the experience I hoped for.
How lovely of Sophia to embrace you into their life in such a way!
Congratulations dear baby Cole! He sure enjoyed his cake!
[...] here at the Hall Home. Coleman had his first birthday party (for more info and pics, click here) and now the kid’s decided to get up and get going. Up till now, Cole played for the [...]
I love the way he is looking at Kara in their picture together. Happy birthday Cole!!
Happy Happy Birthday Coleman! And love and gratitude to your mommy and daddy for sharing you with us.
Happy, happiest of Birthdays to you Cole! you are so loved in your family! Blessings to you always.